Hi, my name is Monday’s Child and I am an online shopping addict.
There is something so powerful about buying an item online, paying for it and then having it delivered to you in a box, as though it were a gift from a stranger. When the box arrives, I forget that I paid for the item. There are times when I have quite a few orders across the world all making their way to me.
At the moment, these are the “gifts” being shipped to me:
- A white blouse with a collar in the form of a sleeping cat (being sent from the USA and a recommendation from a staff member, hereinafter called “JR”)
- A pink stapler in the shape of a rabbit (being sent from South Africa) which was meant to be a gift but I know when it arrives, I am going to keep it
- A bottle of small highlighters that look like medicine capsules (also from South Africa) but this one is a gift
- A set of hooks that look like old fashioned pegs (also from South Africa)
- A retro light-fitting for the new entrance area at home (aka mud room) with Edison light bulb (again, from South Africa)
- A glucose testing machine for Husband since he has recently been diagnosed as diabetic. At least my hands are clean on this one as he cannot blame my baking, as this is non-existent (have no idea where this is from, but one thing is for sure, it is not being manufactured by Cadbury’s or Coca-Cola)
- A tall and narrow cupboard which looks like a medicine chest (I am told it is from India but that could be a sales pitch)
- Espadrilles in canvas and no leather (of course); with very bony feet and long toes, it is very difficult to find shoes that fit. Here is hoping that these shoes are not boats on my feet (have no idea where they come from, but let’s pretend they are the real thing from Spain)
- An order for a book about domestic cats, called “The Lion in the Living Room” (do not confuse it with a book of a similar name but about a lion in the bedroom) was cancelled due to it being out of print
- Pending: cat tags (discovered by JR, that can help us monitor where in the house or garden the cats are, which is totally unnecessary as they sleep 80% of the time and I know where to find them e.g. in the linen cupboard, under the coach throw or visibly on one of the numerous beds we have in a home for 2 humans).
Yes, this is quite a long list. I am quite excited about this week as most orders are arriving between now and Friday. The regular emails I get about progress (e.g. order packed, order being shipped, order almost arrived) are a delight and I can highly recommend this form of self-indulgence which can be initiated from the comfort of your home.
Some of the stranger online purchases I have had delivered to work include:
- A large dog kennel for the rabbits (they never used it and we donated to a non-human animal shelter). This one had my work’s “Receiving” area in a spin because the kennel did not fit through the receiving hatch
- A safe (thank you to our departmental secretary who in my absence had to collect the 9 kg mini-monster)
- A cat toilet which turned into a disaster. It was meant to help train the cats to use a human toilet. They progressed slowly until I got fed-up with sharing a bathroom with them. This order took 3 months to arrive from the USA, having initially been rejected by our Customs folk. It could have been the suspicious bag of catnip in the box that raised the alarm at first and I am sure the item itself caused some fuss.
I went through a phase of ordering Woolies groceries online too. I stopped that because I felt so guilty that our house-lady would receive them and unpack them. In so doing, she would see that I was prepared to pay over R30 for a bag of grated baby marrows or that I was happy to spend R20 for a tin of organic chicpeas.
The one gift from last week, was a true gift (sort-of). I bought it online using Husband’s credentials and said to him it was my birthday gift. It is an adorable collector’s item: a batman Labbit. It makes me smile whenever I look at it. Not one for clutter, this was an exception.
On that note, I need to update my online shopping excel spreadsheet. This is becoming a job on its own. Perhaps I need to say the serenity prayer as they do in AA and NA meetings…And finally: I must cool down my credit card, which could turn into a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 inferno.