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I am working from home (how I miss the giant work printer) and have appointed Husband as the daytime house help when he is taking study breaks. He was fired yesterday from this job and then I had to rehire him again just to fire him, again. Today he is faring better but as I type I am waiting for my cup of tea. Ah. It has arrived with a piece of dark chocolate. I think I will keep him.

Tea Madam

Tea Madam

In my breaks, I wash every and any item that can be washed in our washing machine. I have washed all of Ivy’s winter jumpers. I have washed her collars (not all 42 of them) and animal bedding, plus cleaned inside cupboards, outside cupboards and inside the cat’s ears. It is a unique chance to get us ready for spring even if we have to watch the birds chirping through closed windows.

Ivy’s jumpers

On Monday night, I went to bed and realised: I will go back to work when it is spring or summer. My jovial summer collection is packed away and will need creases removed. Now, former army Husband is a deft but heavy hand with an iron. We do not own one which is a good thing. Half asleep I logged onto the Amazon App and found I could not order a clothes steamer for a month. A MONTH. I imagined going back to work looking like a raisin. With one eye open I continued the search. A clothes steamer is being delivered, all things being equal, on Friday. Hallelujah. Who needs loo paper and long life soya milk when you have a clothes steamer? Such a sensible crisis purchase like the blue nail polish.


Somehow dog daycare is open but Ivy spent yesterday at home and was like a bored teenager: the stuffed penguin had its eye removed and was unstuffed through the eye socket. While at my desk, I was barked at for no other reason than I was at my desk. The cat was rugby tackled in the bedroom and to keep the peace I exhausted our usual supply of dog treats, having to open the rabbit (yes) bites. I have a tin of liver treats (whose liver I do not know) on my desk for when she gets home today. This should put pay to any questions about Ivy being a vegan dog.

Bored hound

Still bored

What did get delivered earlier in the week was my housekeeper’s bucket for the weekly clean. The daytime house help will not be able to use my nifty bucket until and if promoted. Bucket in hand, either I will feel like a hotel housekeeper (unlikely given the size of our abode) or a person in self-isolation trying to prove a point to nobody who cares, that I am organised.  That reminds me that we need to do our daily audit of supplies. Now is not the time to waste a lettuce leaf (or stupidly put the lettuce and cucumber in the freezer as I did) or a chocolate digestive biscuit crumb. I wish Ivy and Italy followed this principle of scarcity. Both happily waste mealtime grub for no reliable reason. I guess they should be allowed to do this. This time of the virus is after all a human illness originating from an unsuspecting fruit bat. Best we keep the animals in our home energetic and loved. But no bat treats allowed.

Housekeeper’s bucket